Table Talks with the Tares

Have you ever meant well and still missed the mark?
You didn't need a solution. You needed someone to listen and somehow that got lost.
In this episode, we dig into one of the most common friction points in any close relationship: the moment one person needs to be heard and the other instinctively tries to help. It's not a communication problem. It's a mismatch in expectations. And one small question can change everything.
You'll Walk Away With
Why venting and asking for help aren't the same thing and why mixing them up is a wiring difference, not a character flaw
Why the externalizer and the internal processor hear the same conversation completely differently
Two questions that reset expectations before the conversation goes sideways
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 169 — It's Not What You Say, it's How You Say It — Once you know what kind of conversation you're in, this one picks up from there on tone, timing, and why the same words can land completely differently.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

It started with MJ saying we need to take more risks as a family and somehow that turned into tent camping with a baby.
In this episode, we talk about why having strong rhythms isn't just about running a tight ship; it's what gives you the freedom to shake things up, try something hard, and actually recover from it. Plus, it’s a practical way we're teaching our kids to take measured risks.
You'll walk away with:
Why your rhythms aren't a ceiling, they're a launchpad for taking risks
If you don't know how to do the thing, just do it bad first and go from there
Resources Referenced:
https://youtu.be/gjwofYhUJEM?si=eJ5-LePa6alYe41m
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 133 — The Legacy We Hope to Build, Not Raising Entitled Kids — if raising kids who embrace hard things resonates, this one goes deeper into the legacy we’re trying to build.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

Good intentions don’t automatically create the outcome you hope for.
MJ tried to give Ash a break but the rest didn't actually restore. In this episode we unpack why good intentions miss when people recharge differently, and the real difference between rest and restoration.
You'll walk away with:
How loving your partner well means learning how they refuel
The difference between rest and restoration, and why choosing what you need over what you want is sometimes harder than it sounds
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 12 — The Sabbath: Our Foundational Rhythm— if this episode stirred something in you about rest, this is where we share the rhythm that's anchored our family for years.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

This episode is for everyone who's doing the right things and still feels like they're running behind because that's been us lately.
We're getting honest about what happens when the timeline you set for bouncing back from postpartum (your health, your family rhythms, your social life) just doesn't hold. Spoiler: ours hasn’t.
Here's what we're unpacking:
Why “bouncing back” takes longer than we want to admit
What it looks like to actually meet each other where we are
Learning to say no without guilt
If you've ever looked at your life and thought it shouldn't be this hard, welcome to the table.
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 169 — It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It — Because saying the right thing the wrong way still misses. This is a must-listen on how tone, timing, and delivery can completely change the message in your marriage.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every week. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it, or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people navigating the same things.
Stay connected: 🌐 honestunderscore.com
📩 Monthly newsletter: one problem, one framework, one thing to try differently. Subscribe here.
✉️ hello@honestunderscore.com

Sunday nights started feeling kinda tense… like we were already behind before Monday even hit.
We realized it wasn’t our schedule, it was us being out of sync. Different expectations, missed communication, and all the other little stuff that adds up fast.
So, we started asking 3 simple questions before the week starts. It’s helped us get on the same page and cut down a lot of unnecessary friction.
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Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/155-how-we-navigate-a-low-capacity-season-as-a-family/id1661247515?i=1000741341988
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Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.

Giving a real time health update and what it’s actually been like after 3 pregnancies. We talk about the pressure to “bounce back,” why we’re pushing against it, and what a slower, more sustainable approach to health looks like. If you’ve ever felt stuck and discouraged when it comes to your health journey, this one’s for you.
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Resources mentioned:
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Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/167-when-you-find-out-your-spouse-has-adhd/id1661247515?i=1000753984829
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Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
‌
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.

How do you handle stress in your relationship and how do you show up when your spouse is the one feeling it? This week we’re talking about how we’ve learned (and are still learning) to navigate stress without letting it take over. From recognizing each other’s signals to supporting without fixing, we’re sharing what’s helped us stay grounded and connected when life feels a little chaotic.
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Resources mentioned:
Quote: “God hasn’t just sent you to do his work in the lives of your children; he will use the lives of your children to advance his work in you.” - Paul David Tripp
Parenting Books:
https://a.co/d/00jzeS56
https://a.co/d/09fpFzus
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Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-6-its-all-about-communication/id1661247515?i=1000593165224
‌
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
‌
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.

We just celebrated 10 years of marriage with a cabin trip… and brought all three kids along. 😅 It was a blast and also a little reality check. We’re debriefing what we expected vs. what actually happened, where we maybe overshot things for this season, and how we’re learning to adjust expectations so they match real life with littles. If you’ve ever tried to make something special happen and ended up equal parts grateful and exhausted, you’ll feel this one.
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Resources mentioned:
Tim Keller Sermon: https://podcast.gospelinlife.com/e/the-power-of-jesus/
https://a.co/d/03uUlTsX
https://a.co/d/04lV5RnT
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Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/137-have-kids-early-and-often-what-i-think-about-that/id1661247515?i=1000721492279
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.

Everyone says they need more margin, but who actually takes time to create it? In this conversation, we talk about how stacking small habits has helped us build rhythms that create real buffer in our lives. Not perfectly, but enough to breathe, rest, be present with our kids, and show up for others without feeling constantly maxed out. If your life feels full to the brim, this one might give practical insight for one small step to take in carving out buffer.
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Resources mentioned:
https://a.co/d/0dEzCjNc
Not mentioned in this episode but a good read on this topic:
https://a.co/d/09d8smm9
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Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/153-why-running-without-margin-always-catches-up-to-you/id1661247515?i=1000739111663
‌
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.

We’re talking about how love and respect land differently in marriage and how that showed up in a recent conflict for us. Turns out, it’s not just what you say but how you say it that matters too. We unpack how tone, timing, and delivery can completely change the message, and what we’re learning about speaking in a way so the other person feels respected. Based on a recent conversation we had, you’re welcome to take a seat at the table!
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Resources mentioned:
Book: https://a.co/d/05HbN4NS
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/166-that-is-not-my-job-relationship-expectations-10-years-in/id1661247515?i=1000752481369
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
‌
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.