188 - What If Compatibility Isn't the Point?

Mid haircut, MJ's barber asked: how do you know you're compatible with someone? Isn’t that what everyone wonders going into a relationship? This may sound crazy, but we've come to think it's the wrong question to ask. 

Compatibility asks where you match, and you’ll most likely tend to get along where you agree. So, we started asking something different: what are our differences, and can we actually live in unity with them? And underneath that: what if your differences were never working against you, but part of what makes each of you better? 

Drawing on our How We Love series (ep. 25- 28) we walk through the questions that have reshaped how we see our own marriage, so you can start asking better ones about yours.

 

 

 

Resources:

How We Love

https://howwelove.com/ 

Our “How We Love” series - episodes 25-28. Start here: How We Love & Argue 

 

 

 

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 183 — Designed to Disagree: Why Your Spouse's Pushback is Actually an Asset — Your spouse pushes back, everything in you braces. Turns out that friction is part of the design, not the flaw, and maybe the thing that helps make you both better.

 

 

 

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